AI generated cartoon of the This is Fine dog with a can of Harpoon IPA and modified quote bubble adding, ‘as far as you know’

Before you read on, start this classic song from Frida to play in the background.

“I hope this finds you are well.”

This statement is often the first line of emails or other greetings. Most would think that it is a good thing, expressing hope that the recipient is well. However, I have heard people mocking it, saying it’s cliché or insincere, even a throwaway statement. Yet I see it differently; heck, I have heard this statement attributed to a quote from the Bible, not to mention it being a nice way to connect with others. Personally, I have been using the following statement, which builds on this opening statement:

“I hope the finds everything is as greatest as possible with you!“

Why this? First off, it is how I truly feel. Second, it acknowledges there may be things in life that are outside of our control. Despite this, I hope things are at maximum greatness. Even using this phrase, I realize my wish may be far from reality. That’s why these days I go into most situations assuming that is the case, and that there’s something going on.

Perhaps it all started five years ago when we were told to shelter in place; for some, depending on where you lived, this was a longer period of time than for others. In some ways, as much as things are back to “normal,” some things – and people – are not. Then there’s the specifics: unemployment, debt, relationships, your health, others health, inflation, the economy, politics… the list goes on. Sometimes it’s obvious to see or know that people are impacted by any of these.

In most cases, however, it is not obvious to see. To begin with, we often don’t actually “see” each other, whether in person or virtually. Even with people in close proximity we may only text or message them. Add to that the fact many people don’t turn on their cameras in meetings, whether work, non-profit or just friends, and the read of someone’s expressions is lost. Sure, you have people who wear their hearts on their sleeves and thru text or voice will convey their true stories and feelings, but those cases are less than more often.

I now try to look for something that may be going on, and the emphasis is on the word “try;” where my desire is to be as courteous, aware and empathetic as possible, I often miss the mark. Those self-absorbed times are usually when I myself have stuff going on. Yes, all of this applies to me too.

Deconstructing What’s Going On

Realizing something is going is not a sign of weakness by any stretch, rather a requirement in our world today. It plays into how we can and should approach people or anything we do involving others. On the flipside, hopefully others consider this for ourselves and how they approach us. If not, perhaps a little opening up is in order, even if it’s just our webcam.

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This is from The Hot Iron, a journal on business and technology by Mike Maddaloni.

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Often is the case when people are put together in some scenario, such as a work team, school parent group or sports team, for examples, the assumption is that they will all get along and collaborate and achieve great things. Where this may happen occasionally, I would say more often than not it unfolds differently. Why? It takes a level of effort to establish rules, norms and other planning for people to work together and realize success.

Preventing this negative scenario is the premise of the book The Genius of Opposites: How Introverts and Extroverts Achieve Extraordinary Results Together by Jennifer Kahnweiler. As it was selected a while back for a book club at work, I picked up a copy and actually read it (I know, something rare for a book club!). While I consumed it, I pondered a lot of what was here and wasn’t, and had several takeaways.

About pairs, not teams per se – The book focuses on pairs of people, where one is an introvert and another an extrovert. I didn’t realize this going in, as I assumed it was about a mix of each type in teams. Where some of the information and advice could be adapted for teams, this is not necessarily an ideal source for it.

Nothing about remote working – The book was written in 2016, long before everyone was judged by a little box representing themself on a Zoom call. It would be interesting to compare this to an updated discussion of introverts and extroverts today, virtually.

(Not to digress, also as this came out in 2016 and there was a reference to the success of Daryl Hall and John Oates, today the former has a restraining order on the latter, which made reading about their relationship rather amusing.)

Tell the other what you need – Often in a work situation we assume we need to provide an answer right now, given in a crowd of others who are ready to pounce on our words. Asking for space, time and even saying you are an introvert is part of the work needed in order to have a respectful work relationship.

Large print, just if you need it – The only printed version of this book available online was the large print version. I have never read such a book before, even with my need for glasses every time I read anything. I fully understand the need for larger type, however it was awkward for me to read it. I’ll wait a few years before I read jumbo-lettered pages again.

As I went through The Genius of Opposites, I thought about a couple of times in my career when I have worked in pairs. Most of them were positive, successful and even led to friendships outside of the work relationship. In those times it wasn’t necessarily a case of an introvert and an extrovert. Then there was the not-so-positive situation, where it was a case of 2 extroverts, working for different managers on different teams yet co-leading a project. Despite my efforts to find common ground, there was a great wall always being built between us as I tried to tear it down. It was unfortunate, but alas nothing I could control. When the other person left, I never spoke with them again.

Though not what I was expecting, The Genius of Opposites was an interesting read. If you are in a situation where you or someone you know is paired with an opposing personality, I highly recommend reading the book. As I don’t know someone in such a situation, I decided to donate the book to a local Little Free Library. Where it may not be the first book someone will take from it, hopefully it finds an appropriate home.

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This is from The Hot Iron, a journal on business and technology by Mike Maddaloni.

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An exciting part of my college radio experience was following the ascent of new bands. From listening to their hearts and souls formed in vinyl to their signing to small labels, to the few making it to major labels, it was an unforgettable time. Rounding this experience out was seeing them perform live. Where I did see plenty back then, I have since gone to – and continue to go to – concerts from these bands. In the fall of 2016, I added another to my list with seeing Mike Peters, the lead singer of The Alarm, as he performed solo at the famed Old Town School of Folk Music in Chicago.

The Alarm hailed from Wales in the UK and by the time I got into college radio (oh, and into college too), they had already released their first album on indie label IRS (the coolest name and logo for a label, by the way) and in the fall of my freshman year they release their second album, Strength. I quickly became a fan, as their music and lyrics resonated to me. Still today, nary a midyear rainstorm goes by without me belting out, to the chagrin of those in close proximity, Rain in the Summertime. Not to forget other ballad hits of theirs like Sixty Eight Guns, Blaze of Glory, Spirit of 76 among many others.

When I heard Mike Peters was touring solo and was coming to Chicago, I jumped at the chance. That month of September 2016 was a busy one for me and music because I had just gone to the Riot Fest festival concert, also in Chicago; seeing Mike Peters as well as Morrissey, Dee Snider and Gwar in the same month was pushing overload!

Though the concert was now almost 10 years ago, I can remember much of it like it happened yesterday. I had gotten on the VIP list for the show, and it was cool to say that as I entered the theater, as it had been a long, long time since that happened. The theater at the Old Town School was an intimate venue, and though there were seats I stood the whole time to the lament of some fans around me; to no surprise it was an older, GenX crowd. The concert tour was celebrating 30 years since the release of Strength, and his set list matched a live performance that the band did on MTV for the release. That night was just Peters on guitar and he used a drum kit in front of him. He was literally a one-man band. #onemanband

Needless to say the show rocked. I knew all the songs (and most all of the lyrics) and I was singing along to them as did most of the audience. In between songs, Peters told stories about the early days of touring with The Alarm, when they toured with U2 and an interesting encounter that he had with the Sex Pistols... it was just an awesome night.

As he finished his last song, I didn’t realize the night would get better. When I got up to leave, Peters stayed on stage and people were coming up to him and talking to him and getting pictures, so I made my way down to the stage as well. I’s say about half the crowd stayed, many just to shake his hand and say whatever, so I worked my way through the crowd until it was turn. Trying not to be a total fanboy, I introduced myself to him as a fellow Mike and of course I had to tell my origin story from college radio. It was a casual chat and he was cool and appreciative, and it concluded with getting the picture I opened the post with.

Going into the concert I was aware Peters had been battling cancer for many years, and at this point he was in remission. The weekend earlier at Riot Fest I signed up to be a bone marrow donor at a booth run by his Love Hope Strength Foundation. Since then, I have heard on and off of his continued cancer battles, including the song Next and its video which takes place in a hospital. At the end of this past April, Mike Peters lost his battle with cancer. I was sad to hear that news, and then searched my archives for the pictures and one video I made that night in at the Old Town theater which you can watch here or is embedded below. Clearly I wasn’t trying to win a cinematic award for it. It is a little shaky, but it captured the energy of that evening in September 2016. Rock on forever, Mike Peters.

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This is from The Hot Iron, a journal on business and technology by Mike Maddaloni.

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A favorite TV show from the 1980s that I’ve recently rediscovered in streaming reruns is Spenser: For Hire. The series is based on novels by Robert B. Parker which are set in his hometown of Boston. As I’m having fond memories rewatching these episodes almost 30 years later, I realize that I never actually read any of the books that inspired the TV show.

That fact changed recently when, at a local thrift store, I saw one of Parker’s pulp fiction novels sticking out from a bookshelf; with its casino-themed cover catching my eye, I picked up this copy of Chance. It is the story of Spenser and his frequent collaborator Hawk as they get tangled with the Boston mob by helping a mob princess find her husband who abruptly disappeared. This page-turner navigates both the mean streets of greater Boston area and Las Vegas.

In addition to my long-standing need to read more books like this, I had other takeaways from reading Chance.

A wicked accurate portrayal of Boston – As Parker lived in Boston as he wrote his novels, the level of detail to his stories on Boston and other surrounding communities is intense. One example in particular that struck me was of the former Ambrosia restaurant which was in the office building in Boston’s Back Bay where I worked for a few years. Though I never actually ate there, I walked by it almost daily and as I’m reading in the story, I can picture in my mind’s eye exactly what the restaurant looked like. There are other portrayals of the city and levels of detail that editors of other authors would likely strike from any other book as unnecessary.

Seeing the story as I’m reading it – In addition to the buildings and scenery, I also can see the characters of Spenser as actor Robert Urich who played him in the series, as well as Hawk as portrayed by Avery Brooks. In the descriptions of the other characters and their dialogue, Boston accents are leaping off the page.

Narration over dialogue – Much of the story being told in Chance is narration by Spenser himself. Most of the dialogue is short sentences in statements spoken by people who know each other well and can almost predict what each other is going to say. The narration also carries the same subtle sarcasm that the TV show had as well, and it just all adds to a great story being told.

I really enjoy reading Chance and I hope to pick up other copies of Parker’s books and weave them in between a lot of the business and technical books I read and post about here at The Hot Iron. As for what I did with this copy of Chance, I left it at a local Starbucks where I writing these takeaways. Hopefully the serendipity from encountering this book will be appreciated.

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This is from The Hot Iron, a journal on business and technology by Mike Maddaloni.

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It was like déjà vu all over again. I’m standing in a souvenir store on Fremont Street in downtown Las Vegas, encircled by a myriad of merchandise plastered with Las Vegas, casino names and other Southwest themes. As I gaze at what is before me, my eyes go in and out of focus in a TV show time-travely way. I say to myself, “self, I have been in this store before, exposed to the same stuff, just in another city… heck country.” Then I catch myself saying out loud, “I just don’t want any of this crap!”

At the end of the day all of this is stuff I don’t need in my life. I’d rather just spend my hard-earned money on something more meaningful in experiences. Needless to say I left the store empty-handed but full of confidence in my decision. The rest of the family, well, they picked up cheap t-shirts off the $5 rack which was ok with me, knowing the bulk of our money will be much better spent.

Anatomy of Souvenir Hell

There’s a myriad of definitions out there for the word “souvenir” and I’ll offer this one from Wikipedia that reads, “from French, a remembrance or memory, memento, keepsake, or token of remembrance, is an object a person acquires for the memories the owner associates with it.” With that… why tokenize the memory and just live the experience?

Souvenirs are nothing new; I remember them back in the day when we would stop on family trips throughout New England as a child. As we lived in said New England, despite our pleas acquiring such souvenirs was rarely if ever an option. Maple sugar candy, however, was usually allowed after some persistence, and this sweet treat is a memory – dare I say experience – that remains with me to this day.

Along the way souvenirs became Big Souvenirs with the onslaught of mega souvenir retailers, box-store size locations where upon entry you are overwhelmed at eye-level with racks of apparel, shelves of items and the high walls are plastered with said apparel and beach towels and other larger items. With all this sensory overload who wouldn’t want to acquire that sweatshirt from Myrtle Beach or those Christmas tree ornaments from Universal Studios?

Being In The Moment

Instead of these acquisitions I have opted to pay a little extra for a more enhanced experience. On that journey through Sin City this included better seats for Cirque du Soleil “O” (I still want to know how that pool works!) and upgrading our tour of the Hoover Dam to a pimped-out pink jeep rather than a staid motorcoach. We had a wicked better time as a result, plus a lot of great pictures and memories.

Regarding those pictures – and video – we have literally gigs of them backed-up, just waiting to be viewed again. For this member of Generation X, taking pictures in my youth was limited to the 27 exposures on the roll of still film, and as we didn’t have a Super 8 camera video memories simply don’t exist. With all of the pictures we take today, often they are just accumulated on various hard drives and online storage, but at least things can be done with them, like collage prints, captioning videos, photobooks (something I want to do) and merely talking about them.

Despite my expressed disdain, I have wandered off to the far corners of these shops and have succumbed to the purchase or two of discounted items. The Disney t-shirt I bought in December of 2019 that had that year accompanying the mouse’s shadow discounted to $9.99 was a decent find. Another purchase that serves a more functional role is “used” decks of cards from casinos, which you can get for around $5 each. Clearly a deck of cards is not used much as the cards are relatively pristine with the exception of the notches cut on 2 opposite corners so they never get used again on a gambling table. As we are a card-playing family (some more so than others) they serve a functional role, from an efficient time-killer to replacing cards that are destined to be lost.

As I finish this post, I scan my surroundings at the Starbucks serving as my writing studio and quickly see souvenir drinkware, from mugs emblazoned with stereotypical Dairyland iconography to the giant W representing the state’s major university’s sports teams. All of this reminds me of a quote from the comedy genius of Mel Brooks, and to paraphrase it, “merchandising, where the real money is made!”. Where that may be the case, the lure of souvenirs will remain for me something to actively manage throughout my own and my family’s journeys.

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This is from The Hot Iron, a journal on business and technology by Mike Maddaloni.

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