Often is the case when people are put together in some scenario, such as a work team, school parent group or sports team, for examples, the assumption is that they will all get along and collaborate and achieve great things. Where this may happen occasionally, I would say more often than not it unfolds differently. Why? It takes a level of effort to establish rules, norms and other planning for people to work together and realize success.

Preventing this negative scenario is the premise of the book The Genius of Opposites: How Introverts and Extroverts Achieve Extraordinary Results Together by Jennifer Kahnweiler. As it was selected a while back for a book club at work, I picked up a copy and actually read it (I know, something rare for a book club!). While I consumed it, I pondered a lot of what was here and wasn’t, and had several takeaways.

About pairs, not teams per se – The book focuses on pairs of people, where one is an introvert and another an extrovert. I didn’t realize this going in, as I assumed it was about a mix of each type in teams. Where some of the information and advice could be adapted for teams, this is not necessarily an ideal source for it.

Nothing about remote working – The book was written in 2016, long before everyone was judged by a little box representing themself on a Zoom call. It would be interesting to compare this to an updated discussion of introverts and extroverts today, virtually.

(Not to digress, also as this came out in 2016 and there was a reference to the success of Daryl Hall and John Oates, today the former has a restraining order on the latter, which made reading about their relationship rather amusing.)

Tell the other what you need – Often in a work situation we assume we need to provide an answer right now, given in a crowd of others who are ready to pounce on our words. Asking for space, time and even saying you are an introvert is part of the work needed in order to have a respectful work relationship.

Large print, just if you need it – The only printed version of this book available online was the large print version. I have never read such a book before, even with my need for glasses every time I read anything. I fully understand the need for larger type, however it was awkward for me to read it. I’ll wait a few years before I read jumbo-lettered pages again.

As I went through The Genius of Opposites, I thought about a couple of times in my career when I have worked in pairs. Most of them were positive, successful and even led to friendships outside of the work relationship. In those times it wasn’t necessarily a case of an introvert and an extrovert. Then there was the not-so-positive situation, where it was a case of 2 extroverts, working for different managers on different teams yet co-leading a project. Despite my efforts to find common ground, there was a great wall always being built between us as I tried to tear it down. It was unfortunate, but alas nothing I could control. When the other person left, I never spoke with them again.

Though not what I was expecting, The Genius of Opposites was an interesting read. If you are in a situation where you or someone you know is paired with an opposing personality, I highly recommend reading the book. As I don’t know someone in such a situation, I decided to donate the book to a local Little Free Library. Where it may not be the first book someone will take from it, hopefully it finds an appropriate home.

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This is from The Hot Iron, a journal on business and technology by Mike Maddaloni.

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